Torture Is A Sugar Fast

Why is that we like to create our own misery and suffering? When life is going along smoothly why do we feel the need to throw ourselves into pitfalls and purposely place stumbling blocks in our path?

In other words, why do we do sugar fasts?

The last time I decided to do a sugar fast was after I woke up with a literal sugar hangover. I had overdosed on gummy worms and Cadbury Eggs (sinful, it's so good) and had to crawl with a pounding headache to work at 4:30 AM. I felt like up-chucking all over the vacuum and digging a nest in a wall and dying like a sickly rat.

Sugar hangovers are rough. 

Below you can see how that sugar fast turned out. The best way to cure sugar-induced morning sickness? Eating a jelly donut for breakfast. I have self-destructive tendencies. This is one of the many reasons why I don't drink or do drugs.

I'm so weak, it's pathetic. 

So when my dear and masochistic friend Elise asked if I wanted to do a sugar fast for a MONTH I was incredulous. "Hmmmm.. I prefer not to disturb my homeostasis by eliminating something that is keeping me from collapsing from exhaustion. Thank you for the offer, but NO." 

Despite all my murmurings and groans she managed to force me into an agreement to do it. I'm still shaking my head over how she did it. The side effects of this sugar fast could probably be likened to an addict going through withdrawals. My body trembles! My hands sweat when I turn down free candy. I sometimes eat a spoonful of jelly when making PB&J's just to get something sweet.... (Please never read that Elise and murder me. IT DOESN'T COUNT.) 

It may be torture but I am excited to see how much better I'm going to feel. They don't lie when they said that sugar is a drug. As an advocate for moderation in all things, it's time I start living it. Every single one of us have dangerous habits that we keep guarded like a pet termite we don't want to get rid of. Is it sugar? The Internet? Degrading music and other media? Painful sarcasm? Feelings of being a victim? Diet Coke? Complacency? Let's kick these habits once for all! 

Bring it on sugar fast! And when I finish conquering you I am hightailing it right to The Chocolate to eat a giant cookie with ice cream on top. Booyah. 

Me fleeing from sugar temptations. (This demonstrates my deathly fear of feeding horses. I was never born to be a horse-woman.) 

Don't believe I have an obsession? Look at this post.