My life ain't perfect. And I hope my blog never gives off that false impression. You know those people you follow on Insta that completely bombard you with pictures of their perfect spouse, perfect outfits, perfect dinners and perfect lifestyles? You don't have to delve deep into my Internet presence to see that 1) I have none of those things, 2) I am an emotional psychopath, 3) I had perfect hair pre mission but 4) I don't anymore.*sobs*
As a society we want to live up to that perfect norm characterized by spontaneity and cute sunglasses and candid laughing pictures. (My dream:to one day get a cute candid laughing picture. My belly laugh creates strange facial contortions that are anything but adorable.) It's time to be genuine with everyone.
We all have bad days. And they can be much more regular than we like to let on. I try to fill my life with positive and fun adventures, but sadness is a thing, and I'm not going to try and shove it under the refrigerator like unseemly kitchen crumbs so no one will see it.
About a week ago I felt like I had one too many crumbs littering the kitchen of my life. It was 8 AM and I had just spent several grueling hours trying to stay positive as my flipping vacuum kept breaking. Without any real cause at all I felt unloved, forgotten and blue. My little spirit had been weighed down with worldly cares and it was like everywhere I turned I saw my imperfections snarling back at me.
In despair I sat down to eat away my sorrows in Cinnamon Toast Crunch (don't buy this cereal in bulk unless you want to eat it for every meal til it runs out. Addiction). As custom I began to offer a prayer to God, thanking him for the food before me. As I prayed I unburdened my soul. "Oh God. I know I have a long way to go. I know I'm self-centered and slightly inappropriate. There's no reason I should be sad, so why do I want to cry? Please help me to feel your love. Anything will help. I just need a hug from you."
Immediately on opening my eyes I saw this pop up on my phone screen.
We have a loving Father in Heaven. He loves us more than anything we can comprehend. He doesn't mind that we're sad for no reason sometimes. He doesn't hold back his love because his children are disobedient and imperfect and slightly bruised and tattered. In the words of President Thomas S Monson, " His love is simply always there."
I am grateful that I don't have to pretend that my life is just one big ball of perfect. It's not, nor will it ever be. I'm grateful for a dad who has no qualms of sending me a three word text message in the morning to say he loves me. And most of all, I'm grateful that I can feel the Supreme Creator's love at all times. He answers prayers. It is no coincidence that I got that message right after my pleadings for a sign of His love. He lives. He loves us.
Be grateful for the kitchen crumbs.
Thank you Alex, I needed that this morning!
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