Car Alarms And Death Threats

I've been living in fear the last couple of weeks. It's like something out of a cheaply-made horror movie. Girl parks car. Girl receives threatening notes on car about her broken car alarm. Girl ignores notes. Girl receives more notes that seem to be more and more bloodthirsty. Girl fears for her life. Girl is found and killed for not fixing her car alarm. Credits roll. 

Except in my case, I was not killed and was kind enough to pay 80 dollars to get the dang thing fixed. Although in this situation I plead ignorance as the cause of my tardiness in fixing the problem. How was I supposed to know that my car alarm goes off "night and day," not allowing anyone to sleep? PUH-LEESE. Who needs sleep anyways?

Raul at the car-fixing place completely sided with me. How unfair to threaten calling the police! How cruel to call me "annoying!" Let's find the psychopath and duke it out! Thanks Raul for always having my back. Expensive as it was, I now can breathe freely knowing that a sleep-derived maniac won't jump me at night when I walk to my car.

Death Threats Galore

"Don't let me ask the third time."

And my favorite part. The first note was signed as "Windsor Park Residents." The second was from the notoriously evil "Windsor Park PRESIDENT." I just got shivers down my spine. 

Seeing that I was probably going to be murdered for my negligence, I decided to live it up these past couple weeks by basically going from one adventure to another. That, and staring at cadaver parts for my Anatomy Lab...

Eating out at Costa Vida and Cafe Rio....3 times....in one week. Hellloooo love handles.

Waking up to this. No words.

Saturday was a dream. A eat-powder-all-day-long-laughing-your-booty-off dream. 

This beautiful bracelet is the only evidence I have that I went country dancing. That's probably a good thing because our  rendition of the Dirty Dancing lift was subpar at best. 

Date night with The Illustrious Beckstead. 

Blading is life. And so are repulsive bad table manners at Cafe Rio.

Late night temple sessions by myself. I love this place. It's  my safe spot from all care and stress and hurt. I can't say it enough; God lives and loves us. 

That is my little noggin on top of that rock. It's so warm we can climb outside!

It is, in fact, possible to have fun in the face of probable cold-blooded murder.

Toodles Noodles (Provo Farewells)

It's that time of year in Provo-land again. Everybody with a pulse is getting all twitter-pated, making out with lovers, and planning weddings. For us single folk, it is the time to pack up three cars worth of stuff, pretend to clean, and skedaddle to the town limits. I have been anticipating this moment for a long  time, the moment when I get to sprint on home to my Hood River. Although I am pleased as panda bears that I am going back to OREGON, I really do love the little home I have created in Provo.

I love how the sun tricks you to wear short sleeve shirts out in the middle of winter. Sun does not equal warmth here.
I love how almost everyone is as big of a geek as me. Most of the University is obsessed with Harry Potter, LOTR, Chronicles of Narnia, or any other loserish series that involves magic and sexy Rangers. (Aragorn is so YUMMY.)
I love the people who sit on their arses instead of climbing at The Quarry. The mystery has never been solved as to why these individuals love to sit on carpet that smells of a million sweaty feet.
I love all the babies that get paraded around campus come spring-time. Once I saw a whole group of babies with rain boots on and I think I actually stopped breathing for a couple minutes.
I love all the sexy guys that seem to be everywhere...even if they don't love me.
I love fighting with Ellis-Island and teasing Logan till he cries. I also love being "clever" with Kristen and being obsessed with my Emma-friend and Steffen (hubby).
I love the large demographic of baby tractors in Utah Valley. I have no idea why there are so many, but  consider me thankful in every sense of the word.
I love spending a large portion of my monthly budget on curry. Lots and lots of curry.
I LOVE WINCO.
I love dressing up super cute the first week of class and then when I don't scope out any hotties, dressing up like a hobo for the rest of the semester.
I love being a whiney, needy child to my sister.
I love mountain/road biking, climbing, long boarding, roller blading, backcountry/XC/downhill skiing, and all other types of adventuring. I also like to brag about them. Get over it.

This is Steffen my husband. And do not ask me why I feel an innate need to mess up every picture. It really baffles me. And my Grandmother.

I love my Emma-friend. And it is impossible to say anything sarcastic about her. Besides the fact that her native language is mumbling. 

This is my "I am on top of a mountain" pose. 

Awkward Family Photo.

Most adorable baby-tractor I ever did see. 

The Quarry. Where the carpet smells and the people smell worse.

Da Pow Pow skis.

Ellis-Island. I can't go anywhere by myself without people getting overly concerned about where my other half is. 

I really do love Provo-town. See you in two!

Toodles to the Noodles.

The Maple Canyon Adventure

Lately I have been feeling very grown up. The Robertson's decided to graduate and move away so my nearest family lives FIFTEEN whole minutes away. Slowly being cut off, you see. Being a grown up is hard work. I actually make my own food, hang out with my friends on a regular basis, and buy my own dinner at restaurants, all things I never did when my sister still lived in Provo-town.

To celebrate my newly-minted grown up status I came up with the logical idea of planning a get-away to Goblin Valley for me and all my friends. Great idea, right? The answer is no. Apparently I am just not cut out for planning anything remotely major. I managed to sleep in, lose my keys, have a melt down, and buy generic marshmallows which all melted together, all before we even left the house. 

Event planning is not in my future. 

Luckily, Logan, Elise, Kristen, and Emma kept it together. We rallied at around 9:30 AM on Saturday and changed the location of our trip to Maple Canyon down in Moroni, UT. 

Such a good idea. 

It was just so liberating to roll around in the dirt, eat bags of Twizzlers, and climb all. weekend. long.

In order to fully reap the benefits of the "Maple Canyon Experience", one must adhere to the four C's.

Camping, Climbing, Canyoneering, Churching.

Maple Canyon has many places where you can camp. It's only 8 dollars a night and if you're me you  will somehow get away with only contributing 1 dollar. A gurgling stream will gurgle cheerfully all night long as it runs about 2 feet away from your tent. If you feel like this would bother you, bring ear plugs. 

It gets real cold-like at night so bring fuzzy socks, sweaters, and a blanket poncho. (If you do not own a blanket poncho I suggest you go purchase one at your local thrift store. Or take an old rug and cut a hole in it so you can stick your noggin through.) 

Food. You may want to pack something besides uncooked pasta and Oreos. 

Tent. Five people have a difficult time sleeping in a three person tent, in case you were wondering. 

Facilities. There is a very clean and very fresh smelling outhouse up the road from the camp sites. It is also possible to just go in the woods somewhere, as long as Logan the Leave-No-Trace police doesn't catch you. 

Kristen and I took this picture from the safety of the car. 

Siamese poncho buddies. We were so good at avoiding helping in any way. 

The climbing in Maple Canyon is world-famous. So famous in fact, that pretty much nobody has ever heard of it. But according to the climbing forums on the Internet, it really is famous across the globe. Climbing here is unique because the rock is conglomerate, meaning that there are a bunch of boulders and rocks cemented together to make one giant, bumpy, wall. Hint: At first you will be scared that the wall will fall apart, then you will get super comfortable, and then rocks will fall on your head. Nothing is more terrifying than your hand hold falling out while you're on a multi-pitch climb. Learn from my mistakes and use caution. It would also be beneficial for you to make sure that both the belayer and climber are wearing helmets.

We climb! 10 points for Hufflepuff for being so hardcore! 

We decided last minute that we wanted to do some extra exploring before we took the trek back home to Provo-land. When you go to Maple Canyon I implore you to check out Box Canyon. It is on the right side of the road as you drive in and is huge. Even Elise noticed it, and she is not well-known for being observant. Box Canyon is very deep and winds around with different caves and rocks to explore and climb on. Apparently if you go far enough, the canyon gets more technical with repels, a waterfall, and all that jazz. I am definitely coming back because A) the acoustics in this canyon were off the hook (We were actually singing about Gollum fairly loudly when other hikers past us) and B) I greatly desire to finish this canyon.

I love conglomerate rock! 

If you come to Maple Canyon, please please PLEASE be aware that rocks will fall out of the sky and make you poop your drawers. But really... be careful. 

We scrambled up to this cave only to realize that it was a latrine for a colony of birds. 

And churching. Elise woke us all up 5 minutes before it started in a panic. People were brushing their teeth in the car, eating pretzels for breakfast, and changing into their Camping-Sunday-Best. The Jeep was flying down the country roads when we noticed a commotion up ahead. It was a giant herd of sheep out for a Sunday stroll. Definitely a highlight of my life.
We got to go to sacrament meeting in the bustling Metropolis of Moroni and I am 97.3% sure that everyone in that town was there. We came in late, looking and smelling like we had just woken up in a tent. People looked fairly disgusted but we just whipped our campfire hair at them and sat down. Overall, a very pleasant affair.

This herd paid us no heed. But why should they? Such balla animals. 

We are dirty and my skirt is obviously very see-through. 

This was a poor attempt at trying to write a post that was reminiscent of those brochures that one could find at the now extinct travel agencies. Did it work? Not really, but one must fluff their feathers in order to spread their wings. (hehehehehehe....what?)

Go to Maple Canyon! Sit in dirt! Eat crappy food! Climb! And don't forget to go to church!

Fell Into A Depression And Then Crawled Out

If you have seen a monster in a filthy sweater scuttling around campus today, do not fear. It was only me in a disarrayed state that one can only describe as karma for being a chronic procrastinator. I have written about 50 pages worth of essays in the last twenty four hours, tried to understand physiology, and crammed hours of volunteer work in for my abnormal psychology class. How did I think 22 hours of service at the USH would fit into a span of a week and a half?!? HOW?!?

Before you pity me, remember that I totally deserve this pain. 

It's easy to fall into a depression in this situation, especially when even the vending machine denied your request for Swedish Fish. But do not fear, POSITIVITY is here! As I stared at my essay that needs a table of contents because it's that long, I realized how blessed I am. I have the opportunity to go to school!  And no one can stop me from wearing the same pants three days in a row because I live in America where it's completely legal to be a slob of a woman. Hip Hip Hooray for rights!

Also, I get to go on ADVENTURES on the daily in conjunction with receiving an education. 

That's pretty blessed. 

Skiing The Bird in da fluffy goodness Utah is famous for. 

Walking to school and creepily smelling the blossoms. 

If you happen to be in Provo-town please go to the Banana Leaf. The passion between my taste buds and the Tikka Masala.... 

Seeing a picture of my niece for the first time. Definitely inherited my propensity for a shiny forehead. 

Shopping for mission attire. And does anybody else hate it when you're the only one who is trying to look good in a picture? Makes me blush every time. 

Conference with my future SISTER MISSIONARY. Cusco Peru here we come!

Rock climbing with my main peeps. 

So be happy! The time to feel joy is this moment. Or after I finish this stupid essay....

Apologies: I Am A Middle School Boy

I love pranks. And chicken nuggets. And dinosaurs. And acting like a dinosaur. And running like a T-Rex. And corn dogs. And Lord of the Rings memes.

It really goes on and on. 

But I love pranks. I wouldn't consider myself to be an expert prankster who creates elaborate and complicated booby traps, but I am a pretty decent liar. Which I have heard is a good qualification for full-time missionaries? 

So this is me saying I am sorry Logan. I am sorry I told you my sister was having twin boys. And I am sorry I let you believe that lie for over 24 hours. Sorry I made you call her at 11 at night to congratulate her. And I am sorry for getting in a one-sided water/spitting war with you. Most of all, I am sorry you biked off in a huff...and that I giggled about it for a ridiculous amount of time afterwards. 

hehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehe.... but it's still funny. 

Before the Falling-Out. 

And now some more male prepubescent characteristics I have accumulated over my lifetime. 

Did I mention that I like dinosaurs? There is a building full of them on campus. Such a wonderland. 

I saved this picture under "Cute" on my computer. Pretty much sums it up. 

****I will accept a Baby-Tractor as a gift anytime, anywhere. Or a ride in one. Or a picture of one.***

Your mother is taking a nap in the sun. What do you do? If you are me, you cover her in seaweed and then shriek, "LEECHES! LEECHES! GET OUT OF THE WATER!"

 Pachycephalosaurus shenanigans.

If you are bored I will gladly rub food all over my face. 

My middle school-aged brother and I get along great. And before you get concerned about the fate of my nose, this was my idea of a "dope picture". 

I contracted this horrific injury rock climbing. But don't worry I bragged about it for days afterwards to my friends. Which is something twelve year old boys tend to do on a regular basis. 

A recent To-Do list of mine. High expectations= high outcomes. 

To all fellow middle school boys; Puberty won't last forever, but immature poop jokes and fast-food lovin' will. 

Rock on suckas. 

Da Bloggity Blog

Hello there blogosphere! This is about the most awkward thing ever, but I've heard blogging is fun? And exciting? And usually completely anonymous because no one actually reads these things? Anywho, I am halfway excited to start telling the worldwide web about my fascinating life. That may have sounded sarcastic but in reality I love my life! It is the greastest most bestest thing ever.

I love to go on adventures and have fun everyday. I am obsessed with the outdoors and all activities that pertain to it. Skiing, mountain biking, rock climbing, and windsurfing are just some of the wonderful adventures that I participate in daily. Now please do not confuse me with being good at any of these... because that would be untruthful. I hope to use this little blog as a fun way to record all of the fun things that I did that day. 

Other fun facts about me: 

Oregon is my home and my love 

I am a Mormon 

I am going to be a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (obnoxiously long name much?). I will serve in Cusco Peru. 

I am obsessed with Cusco Peru. (Internet searches of Peru have taken over my life!) 

Food kind of rules my life. 

Baby animals make me cry and laugh and basically cause me to go completely bonkers. 

I am studying Therapeutic Recreation. 

My friends and family are better than yours. (hehehehehehe... but really.) 

Time to stop zoning out in my excessively boring management class. Maybe I should start google imaging Peruvian animals?