I Go Through Phases

Everybody goes through different phases in their lives. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college, etc etc. These are the basic ones. Others go through shorter phases in life such as having long hair, short hair, or being into Owl City or Nickelback. (Wait. I take that back. Nobody has ever enjoyed listening to that terrible terrible band. Nickelback, indeed.)

I go through phases as well. But instead of them being a period of years or months, they last hours or days. A short attention span combined with an overactive imagination yields a lot of short lived love affairs with a lot of pointless things. 

Note: Although I do tend to fall in love with strangers or really random people for a couple days, this post will not be about that. But it is inspired by a very strange crush I have right now.  How mysteriousssssss. You will never know. 

~ As soon as I went through the big P my hair turned curly. At this time I also lost the desire to take care of my hair which has led people to believe that I would look fantastic with dreadlocks. I trust that these people meant well but in reality they planted a seed in my mind. A seed that would grow into a terrible phase of my life. 

The Time I Got A Dreadlock And It Started To Eat The Rest Of My Hair 

As you can see it was a failure. And disgusting. 

~ I love country pop music. Cue the groans and exclamations of horror...... Moving on. There is this singer named Jana Kramer and she is awesome and the most beautiful person ever... and she has a middle part. This one is for you Jana. Thank you for inspiring me to part my hair in the middle for an entire weekend. It was ugly.

That One Weekend Where I Parted My Hair In The Middle And Went To Public Places

Oh Jana. And feel free to compliment my sexy friend Alex. She is gorgeous. 

~ It started as a thing to do after my family abandoned me for a week this summer. Quickly it turned into a very obsessive phase which threatened my already threadbare social skills. My friends didn't see me for a week. Literally. I think I avoided phone calls and texts to continue my addictive habit. 

The Paint By Numbers Phase That Resulted In Me Dropping Off The Face Of The Planet

I did sign it in case someone was wondering. It may be a lame phase but I also had TALENT. 

~ I have a lot of silly dreams. Recent ones have included me becoming a crane operator or meeting the love of my life as I check the mail after doing P90X.  In early high school, I wanted to be on America's Next Top Model and WIN. So me and my friends started building up a portfolio. Naturally. 

My Modeling Dream That Resulted In Blackmailable Pictures Like This One

I wish I could say this was a joke, but I honestly thought I was hot stuff. 

~ This past summer my little brother Bruce stole a bird from a nest and it became our pet. His name was Floyd. And I loved him. For about a week and a half. And then I hated that little avian. Oh Floyd, you really pushed my buttons, always begging for food and pooping on me and flying around your cage and squawking all night. 

The Phase Where I Loved Floyd- And The Phase Afterwards Where I Didn't

Such a charismatic and obnoxious robin. 

~ My illustrious High school experience was something that no one will remember. Excepting one thing. Kenzie and I's costumes to the 2011 Sadie Hawkins Dance. Now I don't want to seem like one of those people who talks about their "glory days" but that was my one true night of glory. WE WERE A HIT. Our wonderful costumes even got us to be the literal poster children to notifying people what the drinking age is at The Tacqueria. So, yes. I do consider myself somewhat famous.

That Time When Kenzie And I Were Extremely Popular And No One Recognized Me

Pinnacle of my existence. It can only go down from there. 

Adios Muchachos.