The Passionate Rise And Fall Of My Downton Abbey Obsession

I said I wouldn't. It was too long. Too old fashioned. Too over rated and dramatic and sad. I was too young and free to get hooked on something so addictive. I would rather watch all of Taylor Swifts music videos or look at wedding blogs. Productive things, mind you.

But my mother was insistent. I was to watch just one episode. Just one meesly hour long episode. I think she even wanted to do a blood oath to promise that I would get hooked.

Oh Downton Abbey.

Within the first five minutes I began to think it was kind of cute. "Oh! How quaint! Servant drama!" But little by little the cuteness transformed into a raging, wild, passionate love. The clothes, the love triangles, the smoldering look of forbidden love. One episode after another, I had no control. Bloodshot eyes, sweaty hands (from the suspense, don't judge), feverish emotions; all I could keep doing was press the next button time after time. It was like I had closed my heart to everything on my mission. Men, hundreds of frantic butterflies in my stomach, entertainment in general. My heart was opened and I could finally FEEL.

Oh Downton Abbey.

But alas, passion is like a cheap sparkler, it always dies. I played the role of suspicious girlfriend and smelt a dead rat in the whole affair. Rumors began to swirl. It just all seemed too good to be true. The love, lack of real problems....something bad was bound to happen . So I did what all true cinema fanatics consider to be the unpardonable sin.

I looked up the ending on google.

WHO DOES THAT KIND OF THING? Well, I do. On a regular basis. I read the last page of Harry Potter The Deathly Hallows to see if it was worth reading. (Let's be real, what's the point reading 607 pages if Harry dies?)  I am the biggest hater on sad endings. Indie films need to go rot in a dank and musty hole. I am flat-out at the end of  my patience with tragic twists.

And that blasted Downton Abbey had to go all Indie Hog-Wild on me. You're going to kill WHO? Nuh uh. Crossed the line on that one.

So now I am the burnt lover, nursing old scars and yearning over what might have been. Oh Downton Abbey! I can never watch you because all the passion and fire is a lie! Oh Downton Abbey! How I would have kept losing sleep watching hour upon hour of witty banter and almost-kisses, if you hadn't killed Matthew Crawley!

Oh Downton Abbey.

This was before I found out that the main character dies in Season 3. Such a waste.