My Tragic Life

Hermana Ostler’s Update – June 9, 2014

Let’s get down to business. 

Monday. Woke up at 3 to drop a sister off at the airport. (Normal.) Went in my pajamas with a skirt over top (Hey. If President sees me he cannot say that I am not obedient. Homeless looking, but not disobedient.) I had bought a giant bag of dinosaur chicken nuggets the night before and had a bountiful feast. On the way to the airport I started to feel.... stomach pains. A lot of them. We drove all the way there with my head hanging out the window, I think my eyebrows had ice on them by the time we got there. When we got to the airport I laid outside like a poor hobo. And then.... I started throwing up a giant mountain of dino chicken nuggets. The poor tourists. It was an interesting sight I am sure....a missionary hurling chicken nuggets in an explosive manner outside of an airport in Peru. Lesson learned? Don’t get dino nuggets… in Peru. 

We then had the chance to visit the Hermanas in Urubamba. It was amazing to be in my old area and see the growth there. The sisters are so sweet there and I had a nice time being outside of Cusco. A man even approached me and wanted to look at my coin collection (I have 5 now) and so I was very pleased. But alas, peace never lasts long as a Sister Leader. We got called back into Cusco because my daughter (my old companion who is so so so crazy), Hermana Luque was really sick and in the hospital. We rushed back in a sketch taxi that was illegal and had to pass a police station going the speed of heat, with my companion and I screaming GO GO GO GO GO. When we got back to Cusco we met up with the Luque and watched her as she sat in an oxygen tube for a week. 

But. Living with Hermana Luque, as we all know, is NOT conducive for tranquility. While she was here the bathroom overflowed and filled the entire bedroom with....POOP. We spent hours cleaning it up. But even though all my stuff was literally swimming in fecal matter, I could not stop the hysterical laughing. Everything is fun with friends, especially poop adventures. 

Hermana Luque then celebrated my year mark by slamming my thumb in the door hinge of a taxi, but with the strength of The Hulk, I swear... Which... hurts. A little. That blasted door shut all. the. way. closed. I do not exactly remember the words that flowed out of my mouth in that moment.... but I am sure glad that they were in English so that nobody could understand them. I then walked around the city with a thumbs up sign because that poor little finger had a heartbeat the size of a blue whale inside. My finger is blue and we are praying that the nail doesn’t fall off. Yet again… tragic, but so so so good. 

This week I was thinking a lot about gold. I love gold. It is so beautiful and stylish and goes so well with my other favorite color, turquoise. But more than that, gold is a sign that we have found something of worth, that we worked hard enough to have something that really has true value. I see a lot of fake gold here. A lot of things that look like they have value... but they don’t. I see it in dance clubs, in relationships that are not according to God’s laws. I see it in money and clothes and cars and work and school. I see it in the faces of people who are searching for something and just seem to be collecting a lot of fake gold. 

I always tell my investigators a story that my Dad always shares. 

My Grandma Marian lives in the hills of San Francisco. They are beautiful hills with long grass and old trees and big thirsty cracks in the earth. They are hills that are rumored to be full of dust speckles. They are also notorious for the multitude of deer that live there. These deer defecate in the same place that you can find nuggets of gold. But with the strong California sun these little poop nuggets begin to have a golden hue. A tint that is suspiciously similar to that of the real gold nuggets. 

One day my cousins were at my Grandma’s house. They woke up one morning with a thirst and a hungry desire to find gold. To become rich. To make something out of their lives. So they naturally thought of the hills. They left the house, empty backpacks in tow, ready to find their fortune of gold. 

Much to their surprise and pleasure... it was easy to find the gold. There were piles and piles and piles of it! They filled their pockets and bags full of it. And they had no idea that what they were collecting with such eagerness, was in reality.... golden deer poop. They got home, dumped out their so called fortune, only to their eternal sadness to see that they had collected a load of CRAP. It looked a lot like gold, but in the end they saw what it really was. Crap. 

Are we filling our backpacks with deer poop? Are we happy with the things that look like gold but are in reality, are way too easy, to be of any worth? Let us collect real gold my friends. Let’s search a little harder and skip off the deer poop. Because at the end of the day, not mattering what it LOOKS like, its poop. 

I love you all. The gold is found in God and His plan for us. The crap...... you can find THAT anywhere. 

BESOS! 

Hermana Alex

Pajama party at the airport