Anyone want to go see Twilight with me?

Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part Two is out in the DOLLAR THEATRE.
(Before I continue on this topic can I just say that the word "theatre" is so much fancier and prettier than it's "theater" counterpart? I only use the British version, which may make me seem pretentious, which is why I wear pearls and pantyhose everyday.)

I am sure you have either experienced the cinematic genius of Twilight or heard it from the movie-watching-grapevine. And when I say genius I mean it is so cheesy that it should win an Oscar for how outlandish it is. But as a self-proclaimed connoisseur of all things cheesy and romantic, it is paradise. It is a Vampire-Human love story people. And there are hot werewolves and its in the Pacific Northwest and Kristen Stewart is so awful I have no qualms about substituting my face in for hers.

Unfortunately no one wants to go with me. Apparently it's not Beasts of the Southern Wild or Clockwork Orange, so it's not worth watching. (I have seen neither of these so I really can't judge, but I am assuming these are hipsterish?)
I am this close to buying $10 worth of candy and watching it by myself. So that is what I am going to do. Tonight. And I will ENJOY it. I will giggle, get butterflies when there is a tender moment, and probably not cry because I do have some sense of propriety.

I can't take credit for this amaze-balls fan-made collage. But I can be slightly embarrassed that I looked this up in class and I am pretty sure people saw it.

How can you love a movie franchise as terrible as Twilight, you ask? Well, for the same reasons I love sparkles, celebrity gossip (thanks Yahoo!), country music (not Johnny Cash or any other visionary) and huge diamond rings. Because I do. All of these things bring me joy.
On the other hand I love classic literature, wearing no makeup, nature, and talking about philosophical issues. I am not a flat character who can be explained in one sentence.

Basically, I am just a big mess of contradictions. Do not judge me because I sometimes wish I could marry a hot billionaire. Because I also sometimes wish I could be a spinster and have a huge garden and write Pulitzer-winning novels while feeding my free-range sheep.

The point of this post was 1) try to find someone to go see Twilight with me and 2) prove that I am much lamer than you thought I was.

But since I am a great source of contradictions, let me show you that I also much cooler than you thought I was.
This week I;
Climbed indoors several times
Went skiing at Snowbird 4 times
Went back country skiing once
 XC skiing in the glorious sunshine we had on Sunday
Started translating the Book of Mormon into Spanish
Memorized my SSN (this was extremely necessary. Apparently it is an important thing to know?)
Did some P90X while our cross eyed kitty looked on. And when I say "ours" I mean the stray that I feed large quantities of milk to.
Went to the temple twice
And feasted upon the massaman curry at Thai Mango. Go there! It is life changing. But only if you get the massaman. Otherwise, it is only life enhancing.

Proving that XC skiing is indeed, very cool. 

Mt Timpanogus Cirque. We skied off the waterfall. (That's actually a lie. We went around it.)

And meet Cross-Eyed Kitty. What a beaut. 

Happy Tuesday!