Gringos

Hermana Ostler’s Update – March 24, 2014

  

This week I saw a family of Gringos from Seattle. They were members and were way stoked to see me?? I am not really sure, actually, because I have totally forgotten how to be a normal person from the States. I TRIED TO KISS THE LADY WHEN I SAW HER. She forced her hand out at me like, “get away from my face you weird sweaty lady!” But really, it was way awkward because I couldn’t speak in English very well and kept talking in Spanish even though she couldn’t understand me. I am going to have major problems dating when I get back... 

I always yell, “Look at those gringos!” when I see tourists. I am forgetting who I am! So when I start to be real Latina, (taking charlie’s angels pictures in public... what??), I start to sing America The Beautiful. It helps. 

I bought Old Spice. I still sweat like crazy but NOW I smell like a delicious man. So that’s news?? Hahaha. 

This week I have really seen how the Book of Mormon changes lives. We are working with a family menos activo and they are progressing real well. They are getting married this May. I am staying here in Puerto for a little bit longer and am way happy because I just never want to leave. That is actually a lie, but am way down to be here for a month and a half longer. I love you all!

Know that God loves you and that I am doing my best to be better. I hope I will be way cooler when I get back but I am pretty sure I am getting more loserish every moment. But loserish and happier!!

hermana alexxx

Baby chickens! GRINGOS as the babies here say. 

We taught the Primary this week.... Wow. I really had to use my creativity to keep the attention of these kids. I mean... I even sacrificed one of the kids to get their attention.. (I was teaching about Abraham and Isaac.) But it was way fun and now they want us to always teach them...

But this week there weren't any snacks for them in the Primary, so I gave each one of them a small bite of bread that I brought. I was so shocked to see their gratitude. They were so thankful for a little piece of old bread as their snack. A reminder of how much we have to be thankful for. 

This is a baby monkey that is biting my nose. I then went home and smothered my face in antibiotic ointment. But it was way cool! There were about 50 children watching me doing this because they just follow me around, knowing that I am about to do something crazy at any moment.

This is Isabel and she could rip my lips off if she wanted to. 

I forgot my water bottle in one of the houses and when I came back this little boy was waiting to give it to me with a zombie mask on. Then he gave me a zombie kiss and tried to suck my brain out and that is why I am so forgetful. 

Sometimes it doesn't rain for a long time, so I stop bringing my poncho and rain boots with me. And then it decides to downpour and so I walk around with a lended plastic bag on my head, soaked to the bones.

Hello! We are missionaries and are either always late or always waiting for people. Never do you see two parties on time for an appointment. These pictures... waiting. 

These pictures crack me up.
Above: The Kiss
Below: Wiping off the boogers and drool on my cheek.
Classic.

My companion writes.. "hermana sanchez- boca de angel" on all her things. ALL OF THEM. I have no idea why. Mouth of an angel?? what does that mean?? So I wrote this on the whiteboard after... she was so TICKED! hahaha. 

Where I work everyday.

HOBBITS

Hermana Ostler’s Update – March 17, 2014

  

Hello My Little Hobbit Friends!

Why is it that all the doors to all the nice houses are so tiny that I need to stoop to enter? I HAVE NO IDEA, but I shriek HOBBITS without fail, every time. 

Also. 

My companion finally admitted to me that she loved me. Haha. She kind of struggled with me for a little bit because she wasn't used to people making up songs for everything and pulling pranks all the time and talking in weird voices and laughing uncontrollably in lessons... and ... basically she just wasn't used to the usual Alex Treatment. I finally called her out on it, “WHY DON´T YOU LOVE ME, YOU FREAK?” It really was a great week because we finally just clicked perfectly. I just remember praying asking my Heavenly Father to just let us love each other. We got along perfectly well but I always felt that she just didn't love me that much. But something in the two of us changed this week and I can honestly say I LOVE MY COMPANION. When you understand someone, you get that maybe they are serious because shoot outs happened in her house, that she has fought hand to hand with horrible men, and that she just worked and worked and worked to protect her 9 siblings.... when you understand that, it just all makes sense. And then she can understand that I am the way I am because... well I will give anyone a whole bag of aguaje (dino egg fruit that grows here) if they can tell me why I am the way I am. Hahaha. 

Carnaval! Look at the pictures and the stories because it was the bomb. Green paint and dirty water thrown on my head by a mob of children. The best. 

I had one of the most spiritually powerful lessons of my life this week. We were teaching an inactive family, Fausto and Karen. They are both members but stopped going to church when they moved in together without getting married. We are now teaching their daughter Ambar. We were talking about the temple and the importance to go so their family can be eternal. The wife had expressed several times her grand desire to go. Her husband told me that it wasn't necessary, that he just wanted to have a happy life here on earth with his family. WOAH. I went completely ape, as my father says. 

I began to testify more strongly than I have ever done before. I don’t remember what I said but it basically was me pointing at each one of his children and telling him that he would NOT live with them again if he chose to willingly disobey the commandments of God. That he would lose his family, that he would be alone. My companion just had her mouth open like a dead fish by the end. But let me tell you, I spoke the truth. We are here to seal ourselves with our families in the Holy Temple. If we do not have that opportunity here on this earth, God will have mercy. But if we willingly choose to not be with our family for the eternities, we will lose them. We will lose the people we love most in this world.

I was filled with a Spirit so strongly that I could feel my very bones quake under the power of a holy indignation. I KNOW that families can be together forever. I know it and I cannot deny it. The family was sitting first row in church the next day. 

I love you all. I am so happy. Everything just makes me smile! I have learned to never complain and it is the best feeling ever. I have learned that everything is for our benefit and this life is to have joy! To be happy and just laugh and laugh because it’s all so beautiful. 

Love, Hermana Alex

CARNAVAL. We were walking to our appointments last night when I saw a giant mob of children, covered in paint, sprinting towards me screaming,"HERMANAS." Oh no. I began to flee but I was overtaken and attacked with buckets and buckets of paint and dirty puddle water. Then the little children attacked my compy, who was hiding under a moto taxi and then we watched all the little children dance around a tree, taking turns hacking at it with a machete (is that even legal?). We then watched the before mentioned tree fall to the ground and the children attacked the tree grabbing little gifts from the branches. I AM SO DOING THIS WHEN I GO HOME. We then got some good contacts and went home to shower. 

Typical Peruvian Missionary Experience. 

This is Norka. I love her. She and her husband are amazing. They have so many good questions and they just KNOW that this is the true church. BUT. She is married to a Swiss guy because she got married when she was FOURTEEN. Only in Peru... And her husband is also married, but to another person. The luck I have sometimes.

Poor Hermana Ruiz. I walked around the entire morning with her name tag on without her noticing.

Esto es Guerra is a really awesome game show that EVERYONE IS OBSESSED with here. Its basically people doing weird things like stacking cups or doing obstacle courses but they are all basically naked. This little girl is a big fan of Equipo Leon. This is their uniform. Classy?

Hermana Sheets. My long lost "our parents were best friends in college and we didn't know" buddy. 

CARNAVAL. Hermana Alex Style.

Hermana Ostler’s Update – March 10, 2014

Halfway!

Hello EVERYONE

I just completed the halfway point of my mission! WHAT?? Where did the past 9 months go??

My companion has become acquainted with all my weird quirks. Meaning, she now hates me as much as all my other companions. MUWAHAHAHAHA. The pranks just do not stop. Especially yelling “CARNAVAL!” at random moments and then proceeding to soak her with my water bottle. This means...whenever. Like, in the middle of the night walking home, during lessons...she loves it.  

I am also learning what it means to be BOLD. To walk up to whatever person and start testifying of the veracidad (is this a word in English too??) of this gospel. I love meeting new people and being able to be Alex Normal and talk to people. Alex Normal basically means very abnormal. THE BEST.

I killed a scorpion. I found a monkey friend. And I felt the love of my Savior this week. It was so fun. 

I love you all! 

We climbed this tower thing...

...and my companion had a panic attack.

It was cool.

This is me screaming, "AYUDAME" to my compy because I got my arm stuck in the arm hole and I couldn't get it out and I was sweating and dying of heat. Alex problems. 

A scorpion in my laundry. I DIED.

This is my "I love dogs and talk really sweetly to them all" face. And it is not posed. 

A man catching me in the act of attacking his cow on his front porch. I then found out that the cow's name was Gringa. I did my classic "HMMMPH" sound and then the man realized that I was a gringa. He apologized a million times. Oh, and cows have blue tongues!

IF you can get over the fact that I have a Megamind forehead in this picture, you will also see that there is a monkey sitting on my head. 

This is Abel and he wants to be an Hermana Ostler one day. He likes to dirty dance and pinch people and then laugh... so basically we are the same person.

The Typical Grandma Lady that Forces Everyone to Look at Her Photos

 Hermana Ostler’s Update – March 3, 2014

This week I....

Found a FAMILY: Their names are Freddy and Norka and they just moved here from Cusco. They were a reference from this old lady that I think was an angel because I have never seen her since she told us to visit this family. But they are the BEST! Freddy has brain cancer and Norka loves that man so so so much. They are searching for the truth. They came to church this week and Freddy stood up in one of the classes and told everyone, “This is my first time coming to church, but I KNOW that this is the true church of Jesus Christ.” I had this goofy grin plastered on my face for a really long time after that. 

I walked a ton. I MEAN A LOT. Sometimes I get very very very tired. The kind of tired where you think, “Can I really do this?” But then you think about all the people that need you, the joy that you can bring to the lives of other people... and I say, “YES! I CAN DO IT.”

Still seeing the scars from a lot of abuse. The kind of scars that are written onto the deepest part of the women’s hearts. It’s heartbreaking to see but I know that there is hope. There is peace. There is healing. Christ has that healing. He has provided that for us. 

Jesper

My mom sent me pictures from HOME! This means that I literally would run people down all week screaming, “LOOK AT MY PICTURES.” Luckily, Peruvians go absolutely ape for photos. They will stare at them for so long. They love my niece, Jesper, for her blue eyes. They get this melancholy face and say.... “If only I had had a baby with blue eyes.” They then look at me and say, “YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GRINGA BABY.” 

So. I now know my purpose in this life. To have a baby with really big blue eyes. So here I go world! I have a lot of people counting on me. But I can do it. This just limits my options a little bit. You may marry me only IF you will help me provide the Peruvian world with the joy of seeing a blue eyed baby. That is all I ask. 

I love you all. I love letters. I love that weird postcard with a lady in a bikini with a monkey that Ellis Island sent me. My zone leaders went completely crazy seeing it. I love dinosaurs and hate my zone leader, Elder Gallegos, for telling me I got a package full of dino toys. I will never forgive him. 

I love the mission. I am going to complete my half way mark. I pray that you will all press forward. That you will stay strong and search for the truth. 

Love, Hermana Alex

This is my boyfriend. He is a fan and he likes to dance.

If anyone has ever baked with me, they know that I have dreams to start a 'Baking Ingredients' line of makeup. Because without fail, I will ALWAYS put the batter on my lips and act like a fashion queen. All I am doing now is promoting this beautiful fashion in Puerto Maldonado, Peru. Spreading my weirdness one Peruvian at a time...

 

Our new investigators gave us this GIANT BREAD WITH A HEART IN THE MIDDLE. It's from Cusco and... its really big. That's basically it, but I was way stoked because at this time I only had 2 soles and butter in the fridge. (The 2 soles were in my wallet, but sometimes I do actually forget that in the fridge as well.) So really, I was way excited because this meant FOOD for FREE. Which, let's be honest, tastes a lot better.

I pulled the classic They-Ask-For-Sunscreen-And-I-Pour-A-Buttload-On-And-They-Sit-And-Stare-At-It-Wondering-How-They-Will-Use-It-All Stunt on my companion. I really can't take credit for this prank because it is the Classic Shane Ostler maneuver. (Thanks, Dad!)

These women are Milagros, Rocio, and Geralda. I have been teaching Geralda ever since I got here. She was a less active member that is now coming to church every Sunday. Her husband has one eye, looks like a penguin, and is named Alberto. During our last lesson he told me I had a rocking body.... so we are friends???