Do The Creep

Let me start off by saying that I think The Lonely Island is about the sexiest male-singing group I have ever seen....and I still find the above picture irresistible. And when I actually write that down I understand how weird that is.

Hello my name is Alex Ostler and I am super creepy. Don't believe me? You're lying. Everyone knows I am a mega-creep.

Like, if you are a somewhat attractive guy and you say something like, "Hi" or "Nice bike", do not let me find out any information about you. Because I will find you on Facebook, show you to all my friends, and plan our eternal lives together. So please, for the love of humanity, if you aren't interested, don't tell me your name.

Also, I really like taking sleeping pictures. Feast your little eye balls on these beauties.

Still original after 100's of times. 

When I pull up my pants extremely high and tuck my shirt in it looks like I am just being typical, hilarious me. But lets be real, pants up to the belly button are really really comfortable.

My face makes this expression most of the time. To strangers as well as new friends who don't quite understand yet. 

If all goes silent in the house, look around. I will be in the closet, under the table, peeking out from the washer, or lying under a small blanket...watching you. 

In the eighth grade I begged my parents for a voice recorder for Christmas. I now have one. This just seems a little disturbing to me.

This could go on and on, but I need a small inkling of a chance to one day meet someone who will marry me and then find out how messed up I am. 

Sweet Dreams. Beware of the girl wearing high-waisted sweatpants, smiling like Gilly, hiding under your desk, taking pictures of you. She obviously needs some intervention.