Twilight Follow Up

So I know you were all biting at the reigns to find out if I went to see Twilight or not. Did she go alone? Were large amounts of candy consumed? Did she like it?

Now I don't like to have my almost non-existent readers unsatisfied. I understand that your curiosity must be appeased. And promptly.

I did go see Twilight at the dollar theatre. And it was only a dollar, including tax. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Cheaper than Redbox. Booyah. Welcome to Provo.
On my big night out on the town I was accompanied by my loyal and trusty sidekick, Elise. Because lets be real with ourselves, we all know I am far superior to Elise...in a good and non-offensive way, of course.
Now you want to know how much junk food I shoved down my gullet? That seems a little personal to me. And seeing that blogging is really personal, it seems like that question is crossing the line. I did not have room in my belly to eat candy because I ate two dinners. Happy? Now you can go feel good about yourself knowing someone is more disgusting than you.

Drum rollllllllll..............
I LOVED IT! Holy moly best. movie. I. watched. this. week. or. month. or. year.
Once you embraced the cheesiness it was highly entertaining. Elise is a great movie partner because she has no issue with yelping, giggling, screaming, or being plain rude. These qualities are all synonymous to my movie-going technique. Caution: if you go to a movie with me I will squirm, talk, and be pretty annoying. But I am so adorable it's okay.
Did I say that I LOVED IT?!?! Because I do. And the twist at the end totally blew my mind. Awesome to the possum.

Note: None of this was satirical or ironic. No matter how much you want to think so. Some people are just really really strange.

These are the faces of real goobers. Who love Breaking Dawn.

Anyone want to go see Twilight with me?

Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part Two is out in the DOLLAR THEATRE.
(Before I continue on this topic can I just say that the word "theatre" is so much fancier and prettier than it's "theater" counterpart? I only use the British version, which may make me seem pretentious, which is why I wear pearls and pantyhose everyday.)

I am sure you have either experienced the cinematic genius of Twilight or heard it from the movie-watching-grapevine. And when I say genius I mean it is so cheesy that it should win an Oscar for how outlandish it is. But as a self-proclaimed connoisseur of all things cheesy and romantic, it is paradise. It is a Vampire-Human love story people. And there are hot werewolves and its in the Pacific Northwest and Kristen Stewart is so awful I have no qualms about substituting my face in for hers.

Unfortunately no one wants to go with me. Apparently it's not Beasts of the Southern Wild or Clockwork Orange, so it's not worth watching. (I have seen neither of these so I really can't judge, but I am assuming these are hipsterish?)
I am this close to buying $10 worth of candy and watching it by myself. So that is what I am going to do. Tonight. And I will ENJOY it. I will giggle, get butterflies when there is a tender moment, and probably not cry because I do have some sense of propriety.

I can't take credit for this amaze-balls fan-made collage. But I can be slightly embarrassed that I looked this up in class and I am pretty sure people saw it.

How can you love a movie franchise as terrible as Twilight, you ask? Well, for the same reasons I love sparkles, celebrity gossip (thanks Yahoo!), country music (not Johnny Cash or any other visionary) and huge diamond rings. Because I do. All of these things bring me joy.
On the other hand I love classic literature, wearing no makeup, nature, and talking about philosophical issues. I am not a flat character who can be explained in one sentence.

Basically, I am just a big mess of contradictions. Do not judge me because I sometimes wish I could marry a hot billionaire. Because I also sometimes wish I could be a spinster and have a huge garden and write Pulitzer-winning novels while feeding my free-range sheep.

The point of this post was 1) try to find someone to go see Twilight with me and 2) prove that I am much lamer than you thought I was.

But since I am a great source of contradictions, let me show you that I also much cooler than you thought I was.
This week I;
Climbed indoors several times
Went skiing at Snowbird 4 times
Went back country skiing once
 XC skiing in the glorious sunshine we had on Sunday
Started translating the Book of Mormon into Spanish
Memorized my SSN (this was extremely necessary. Apparently it is an important thing to know?)
Did some P90X while our cross eyed kitty looked on. And when I say "ours" I mean the stray that I feed large quantities of milk to.
Went to the temple twice
And feasted upon the massaman curry at Thai Mango. Go there! It is life changing. But only if you get the massaman. Otherwise, it is only life enhancing.

Proving that XC skiing is indeed, very cool. 

Mt Timpanogus Cirque. We skied off the waterfall. (That's actually a lie. We went around it.)

And meet Cross-Eyed Kitty. What a beaut. 

Happy Tuesday! 

Oregon Day

Today is a special day. And no it's not because it happens to be Valentine's Day..(who cares?) The state of Oregon has it's 154th birthday today. So instead of wasting my time doing silly things like dating and having a "love life" I am going to tell you why I love Oregon so much.

1. Hood. River. Oregon. Most. Beautiful. Place. In. Existence. Don't believe me? See for yourselves.

Oh and not only is it gorgeous it is considered the windsurfing capital of the world. World class mountain biking and rafting/kayaking. Skiing year round on Mount Hood. Cutest little downtown you ever did see. Awesome locals. (The last one is especially true.)

Proof that I do indeed windsurf. 

2. It's GREEN. Living in Utah really makes me appreciate the verdure of Oregon. There are actually FORESTS that have been there for hundreds of years. FYI: If you didn't know this already, Oregon rains...a lot. Which accounts for the deep green hue of the landscape.

3.Oregon Country Fair. This is a wonderful hippy fest that happens every summer in Eugene. (Some people associate Eugene with a certain University with a very good football team, I think of my state cross country meet in high school and Oregon Country Fair.) Basically this fair meshes art, music, food, and free spirited individuals in a magical blend of summerness and happiness.

Me dancing in a drum circle. I pride myself in being able to blend in anywhere. 

My best friends, fellow hippies, and lovers. 

4. Oregon is one of those elite states that has a coast line. But before you imagine white sand, warm temperatures, and swim suits, remember that this is the Pacific Northwest. The coast is cold, rainy, and awesome. Instead of seeing girls in bikinis you will witness figures blanketed in clothes or wetsuits. It's a Mormon's paradise.

Notice the mist. This was in August. 

5. We don't have to fill up our own gas. It is illegal to do so. Oregonians have the unique opportunity to sit in their cars and continue to listen to the radio while someone else does the complicated task of using the gas machine thingy.

So hug a tree, plant a garden, drive a Prius, or register as a Democrat, because its Oregon Day!

Happy Birthday Jessica!

24 years old!

Happy birthday to my wonderfully bossy, compassionate, hilarious older sister Jessica. Thanks for always being there; to suck the sour stuff off my war heads, to feed me at college at least 3 times a week, for fixing my bikes and car, and letting me use your headlamp night xc skiing when I forgot mine.

Halloween 2012. Jessica is a mad scientist and I am a....? 

Jessica's crazy eyes...hahaha

Opened my mission call in Jessica's car and then went to Thai Mango. Best day ever. 

Whole Enchilada ride- 6 hours of downhill on a mountain bike.

I love you Jessica. I can't wait for all the other adventures that will come our way over the years. The first 24 of yours have been awesome, they can only get better.

Bachelorette at Bachelor

How clever is my title to this post? Please tell me I am a witty son-of-a-gun.

This past weekend was glorious. We met the rest of my family in Bend OR to ski at Mt. Bachelor. It was incredibly awesome. So awesome in fact, that I am going to tell you the highlights of each day... consider yourself lucky that you get such a detailed account of my vacation.

Thursday: SKIPPED SCHOOL! booyaaaaaa
It was a 11 hour car ride to Bend through the uglier parts of Utah, Idaho, and Oregon. I didn't pay much attention to the green scenery though because I was getting my reading fix in. My favorite of the day was, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling. Please read it. I laughed uncontrollably the entire time. Her description of frisbee (the worst 'sport' in the world) was spot on. (Seriously, frisbee is pointless. And I am terrible at it.) Best book I have read in a while. Sometimes you just need some fluff okay?

Hahahahahaha. How awesome is she?

Friday: SKIING AT MT BACHELOR IN POWDER! No explanation needed.

Feel free to compliment my balla $6 ski suit. 

Saturday:  Skiing (of course) 

Sleeping for 14 hours straight. How is that possible you ask? It helps to be sleep deprived, reading a Jane Austen book, and emotionally drained from being abandoned by my family up at the resort. 

Sunday: More skiing and summiting Mt Bachelor. This is not as impressive as it sounds however, because the lift basically takes you the whole way up and then it's 10 minutes of hiking to the top. But still, I am totally counting it. 

So much style in one family, its ridiculous. 

Monday: McNuggets!  Ba da ba ba ba...I'm lovin it. Also, the shamrock shake was subpar. And that was the only highlight of my all-day car ride! 

That's all for my weekend festivities. My parents are in town again this week so there will be more adventures to look forward to! 

Toodles noodles 

Lets talk about HEDGEHOGS

Important news folks, I saw a hedgehog in the wild two days ago.

Take a moment to process that. 

YES. A real hedgehog up in American Fork Canyon. I was cross country skiing down this treacherously icy road when I saw a little critter scamper across my path. On closer investigation I found that it was indeed a hedgehog and I proceeded to squeal with delight down the rest of the hill. 

Everyone has permission to buy me one of these as a Welcome-Home-From-Your-Mission-Present in two years. 

This one is wearing a tiny Santa hat. 

And this little guy is yawning. 

The whole point of this post was to notify you that wild hedgehog sightings are scarce, but not non-existent. You're welcome for the valuable information. 

And did I mention that cross country skiing is terrifyingly exhilarating? I think there is something about having no control that just makes it ten times more hilarious. 

And don't get me started on sledding. I went for the first time in years this week. SO. PAINFUL. I am fairly certain that nothing hurts children. We went to the local sledding hill and the kids there were maniacs. Huge jump, flat landing, on a tube? No thanks. 

I am just so grateful for all of the wonderful adventures I get to go on everyday. Life is the best gift we are given. There are so many things I haven't experienced yet and I am just so excited for everything that will come my way. For instance, I am going to get my very own library card today so I can read a million books on my road trip to OREGON this weekend. I am very very very happy that I will get to ski ski and read read and play play with my family for a couple of days. So go on an adventure and smile because there are wonderful things like hedgehogs and snow in this world.