My Not So Secret Vice

I have a pet sin. The kind that is just so good and yet so bad that it seems right out of a Taylor Swift song from her 1989 album. It's my not-so-secret vice because well.... it wouldn't be secret if I had a whole blog post dedicated to it.

Candy. Candy. Candy. But to be completely frank, anything with sugar is my downfall. Let's just say that you can't just have one of a brownie...or a cake....or a cookie...or a candy bar...or a bag of candy...or anything with sugar crystals....without have at least 8 more. My sisters would save their Halloween candy for months. MONTHS. They would take a small nibble here, a little nibble there...torturing my very inner being. My Halloween loot typically lasted a solid 2 hours. Sometimes it made it to lunch time the next day. Oh Halloween...such a sacred holiday.

Confession time! You know those disgustingly savage-like people who clean their cars and find a 10 year old york mint that's been crushed and is covered with lint and dog hair...AND THEN EAT IT??

I'm one of those. Go ahead and cast me on one of those TLC shows about people with freaky obsessions already.

The point of all this is to say that living behind a pharmacy that seems to have a perpetual deal of Sour Jack Watermelon's might be the very thing that kills me. Helllloooooooooo sugar hangover.

And in case you don't believe this obvious under-the-influence-of-sugar post. Here are a smattering of pictures from the mission and post-mission era.

My recent conquest. Generic brand of Sour Patch Watermelon candies! Boom. 

Sale! Sale! Sale! Everything must go! 

I think we get the point. I have problems. 

But! Before you buy some non-stick oil to squeeze me out of my candy wrapper cave onto a flat bed truck... I have been counteracting it all with some good ol' exercising. A loose term I assure you, but exercising nonetheless.

Swimming laps in the Koi pond of the BYU swim pool. And mostly pencil-jumping it off the high dive. 

Running to the top of the Y! And again, I'm sure it shouldn't actually be classified as a "run" but a "run-walk-crawl-gasp".

And the absurd amount of skiing at Snowbird, usually followed by a mega rice crispy treat with hot chocolate. 

Now I am going to work off this sugar headache with some Insanity. Peace, love, candy, and lots of tooth brushing.

The Homecoming Talk

This is the legendary I-Am-Home-From-My-Mission-And-Still-Struggle-In-Social-Settings talk. I gave it today during sacrament meeting at church. I actually loved preparing for this talk, I learned so much and it was nice to remember some of the feelings and things I experienced during my mission. Enjoy. 

Good morning brothers and sisters. My name is Alex Ostler and I just completed my full time mission in Cusco Peru. I am eternally grateful for the people I met and the experiences I had, it truly did change the course of my life.

Happiness is preaching the gospel in Peru. 

One day I had the chance to watch one of the seminary videos while my companion was sick. This video became the perfect way to describe my mission experience. It is about a young girl whose biggest desire in life is to have a pink bicycle. That is all she wanted and one day she asks her father if she can have one. The father looks at her with love and tells her she can work for one. 

The video depicts the younger girl working for her bike. She tries to sell lemonade...but no one buys it. She washes the dog but the dog escapes. She tries to mow the lawn but cannot push the lawnmower by herself. One day the girl approaches her father and says, "father, I have worked hard, I think I can buy my bike now." They arrive at the bike store and the eager excitement of the girl turns to crestfallen disappointment; she did not have enough to buy the bike. Her father says, "let me see what you do have". It is in this moment that the girl pulls put a couple of quarters and a crumpled up dollar bill. "This is not enough for the bike. You have fallen short. But because I love you so much I will take these coins and dollar bill and I will pay the rest." 

This is the grace of God; we try our best, and God makes up for what is lacking. My mission wasn't perfect and at times I wondered if I really was doing anything worthwhile. But I know that God accepted my small, imperfect sacrifice and that He has given me everything in return. I worked my very hardest during my mission and it wasn't enough, I fell short many times as a representative of Jesus Christ. And that is why we all need the grace of God; there will always be a gap between who we are and who we should be.

Watch the video! Insta-tears.

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-06-2030-parable-of-the-bicycle?lang=eng

A scripture in Ether 12:27 in The Book Of Mormon illustrates this principle perfectly.

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. Igive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I makeweak things become strong unto them."

His grace is sufficient fore those who humble themselves and try and do the things right, imperfections and all. Later in the same chapter, in verse 33 we learn by what means we may receive the grace of God. 

" And again, I remember that thou hast said that thou hast loved the world, even unto the laying down of thy life for the world, that thou mightest take it again to prepare a place for the children of men."

Christ suffered and died so that we might be able to throw away our imperfections and sins and sorrows that weigh us down, that impede our true happiness in this life. The divine promise is that we may rely on the infinite grace of God and repent so that we may become strong and immovable in this life. 

Many times we begin to think of the Atonement as a cleansing power for those who have gravely sinned or who are living their lives in a way that the gospel of Christ condones. But many times we forget the enabling power of the Atonement, the power that allows diligent disciples of Christ to go from being good to becoming better and better. Elder David A Bednar said, "Most of us know that when we do things wrong and need help to overcome the effects of sin in our lives, the Savior has made it possible for us to become clean through His redeeming power. But do we also understand that the Atonement is for faithful men and women who are obedient, worthy, and conscientious and who are striving to become better and serve more faithfully?" 

During my mission I struggled many times with deep feelings of inadequacy. No matter how hard I tried or how many advances I made personally, I just could not live up to what I knew I needed to be. The Atonement helps those who are giving it their all, and it makes up for the times that they fall short of their full potential. The Atonement has become my life line, my only hope of one day returning to live with the God I so dearly love. 

During Christmas I had the marvelous opportunity to read the account of when Christ came to The Americas in The Book of Mormon. I was struck with the invitations that Christ extended to all during His ministry. It made me remember the time I had in Peru to invite others to do the very same things, to invite them to learn and know about their Savior.

In 3 Nephi 11:14 Christ says; "Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel, and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the world."

After Christ invites all to come unto Him and feel the Atonement in their own lives it says in 3 Nephi 17:10; "And they did all, both they who had been healed and they who were whole, bow down at his feet, and did worship him; and as many as could come for the multitude did kiss his feet, insomuch that they did bathe his feet with their tears."

Haven't we all been there? Haven't we all felt that we have been healed by Christ's love and have been filled so full of gratitude that we could have bathed his feet with our freely flowing tears? Have we not seen the same thing happen in the lives of others? I know I have in the lives of Peruvians who were ready to accept the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

And the most beautiful thing of all in 3 Nephi 18:25; "And ye see that I have commanded that none of you should go away, but rather have commanded that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see; even so shall ye do unto the world; and whosoever breaketh this commandment suffereth himself to be led into temptation."

Christ truly does invite all to come unto Him and be made whole.

My favorite and most cherished area of my mission was Puerto Maldonado. It was deep in the jungle and very very hot, about 100 degrees with humidity. I remember that going through the middle of my area was a very long, very dusty road. This road would typically have 4 inches of moondust on top, the kind that clogs your throat and makes your eyes sting. When it rained it had ankle deep mud. There was no shade along this road either. I walked that road countless times. That road is now the most sacred and beautiful place that exists in the world for me. Because along that long and shadeless road, lived some of the people I love more than life itself. Along that road I saw miracles. And along that road I felt that I was truly walking in my Saviors steps, doing the things He would do, and becoming healed in the process.

My favorite and most cherish road. Who knew one could be so happy in so much dust?

I became acutely acquainted with human suffering on my mission, which I think is probably universal for all missions, all around the world. There were things that I saw that made me angry and sad and desperate. But as a representative and spokesman of Jesus Christ I extended an invitation of healing and hope, of happiness and forgiveness. Of a promise that every one of us can be made whole because we have a Heavenly Father and a Savior that deeply know and love us.

I went on my mission because after many years I finally comprehended that God really did love me enough to send his most beloved son Jesus Christ to redeem me from my lost and fallen state. But during my mission I learned how to love him back through what I do, say, and think.

How grateful I am for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that He did indeed suffer for our sins, that thanks to Him we can change and become happier and better people. I know that God is real. He loves us and wants us to return and live with Him. He has created a plan for each one of his children. It's a plan of hope and love and joy; because that is what living The Gospel is all about. I know that in a world of changing values and opinions, we can still find absolute truth and be at peace. I know that there is a living prophet in these days and that he holds all the keys to the priesthood necessary for salvation. I know The Book of Mormon is the word of God. It was my greatest joy to testify of the life-changing power of that book. I know that families can live together forever and that all of this is thanks to our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Ostler Family rocking the Peruvian look at Church.

My Hump Day From Hades

Let us celebrate this Tuesday by jumping back and reminiscing over last Wednesday. I like to call last Wednesday My Hump Day From Hades. It seems that I have been so scarred from it that it took me almost a full week to even have the nerve to write it down. But really, it is just too tragic not to share with the world-wide web.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let us soar back into time to My Hump Day From Hades

Coming home from a mission has been a little...let's just say.... rocky.  Really really fun, but rocky nonetheless. There were days of embarrassing excitement and dweeby encounters with acquaintances and being locked up in your room reading scriptures all day. There were some days when I really thought I would be in limbo mode forever. Until last Wednesday. 

Wednesday! It was just so full of possibilities! Let's exercise! And eat TWO bowls of cereal!  Why don't we have a super spiritual scripture study?! Wow! My makeup looks sooooo good! Perfect hair day! Not even rushed to go to class! I even have time to go to campus and study before my next class! PERFECTION! I love Wednesdays! I love life! 

That is, until I walked out to get my bike and glance over at my parking spot. I love parking spots! I love college and Provo and studying!

DUN DUN DUN.

The Crushed Hood River Apple Threat.

The Crime Scene

Does THAT look like a happy parking spot to you?? It looks empty! I call this the crime scene of My Hump Day From Hades. What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you go outside and your beloved Lesbaru isn't there? And did you see the crushed Hood River apple as evidence? If you have a highly active and possible conspiracy-theory mentality, you will assume that you are now the target of a personal terrorist attack. But really. THE CRUSHED HOOD RIVER APPLE, PEOPLE. It was like these car-stealing terrorists were telling me something. "If you say anything to the police or your parents or anyone, this Hood River apple will be you." 

Now, the conundrum. What was I to do? I certainly didn't want to be a crushed Hood River apple, but I also didn't want to find anthrax in my Wishbone salad dressing. What was to be done? 

I called my Dad. I know he could go completely Ape on some terrorists and even pull a Taken stunt. I would be safe calling him.

The phone call went something like this; 

Dad: Alex! How are you? How is school?

Alex:.................*uncontrollable sobs*

Dad: What happened? Calm down! 

Alex: *sobs* My car has been stolen! It's not here! 

Dad: Did you forget where you parked it? 

(So offensive in the moment, but a very valid question. My friend Ben once vowed to me that someone had stolen his beat-up bike when it was just at another bike rack. These things happen.)

Proof that I truly am an Ugly Crier.

After a lot of sniffles and wailing I began to call tow truck companies. (Apparently my conspiracy theories did not seem very plausible to my father.) Turns out that my car had indeed been towed for parking in someones spot (I had not been informed of parking procedures at my apartment! This is my blog and therefore a no-judge zone). 

This really should be the end of my story. But it goes on. List form for the rest of My Hump Day From Hades! 

~ Trying to follow the directions of Maps on my iPhone. Without my glasses, tear-blurred eyes, and technologically ignorant. 

~ Ignoring my Maps directions because I.Got.This. 

~ Getting lost. 

~Finding the tow truck company only to be informed by Nice Tattoo Lady that the company had moved spots and was now across the freeway. A mere two mountains away on a single speed bike. 

~ Breaking through an ice puddle on my bike. Shoes wet and pride destroyed. 

~ Getting lost as I traversed the big mountains to the freeway.
~ Stopping to get directions from a haggard-looking ginger in his driveway. He didn't know how to get to the freeway or where any tow truck companies were located, but he did take a strange fascination to my bike. "Why have a car when you have that super rad bike?" He also seemed to take a strange fascination to me and invited me into his house to use his computer. Remember those Pick-Your-Ending-Thriller Novels from elementary school? Going into a stranger's house just didn't seem conducive to living. I escape as he yelled over and over again, "NICE BIKE! NICE BIKE!"
~ Biking!
~Finding the freeway and going under it. It's literally the other side of the tracks where everything smells like cow poop but there are no cows to be seen....suspicious.
~I arrive at the WRONG tow truck company. Curse you Nice Tattoo Lady who didn't offer me a ride in your huge pickup! May your face piercings get stuck to your towel when you're drying your face!
~ Biking up the mountains, riding especially fast by the Haggard Ginger's house.
~Arriving at the correct tow truck company and realizing that no one is there because it's their lunch break.

Did I also mention that I missed several classes during all this and that my debit card was denied at the grocery store?

See what I mean? Hump Day From Hades.

All I can say is that I'm glad My Hump Day From Hades ending in the most Heavenly place on Earth.