Hermana Valverde Is A Freak

Hermana Ostler’s Update – September 23, 2014

My companion is completely nuts. A couple of examples: 

-       She is learning English and only says verrry inappropriate things. 

“Don’t provoke me, because your butt is so attractive when you dance.”

“You have worms in your butt and that’s why you dance like that.”

She told me that now she has memorized the word “butt” and “dance” and that repetition is necessary to learn languages. Such a nutcase. 

-       Hermana Valverde was sitting on the bed and I was standing up talking to her about our plans for the day. She stares at me with a blank face and then says. “I just peed.” She had peed the bed when the bathroom was literally two steps away. She told me that she panicked and didn’t know what to do and really it is actually normal to do things like that...

-       The other day we had to go to the airport to pick up a Sister that was returning home from the mission. We waited for about 40 minutes, pretending to be nervous and emotional (or so I thought). When the sister comes home her family starts screaming and crying and hugging each other. I look over at my comp and she is literally bawling. BAWLING. We don’t even know these people! She then told me that I have a heart of stone and that she was just a tender person. 

But honestly, my companion is so strange. We are perfect together. 

This week was the Multi-Zone Conference. There were three zones of missionaries there and the leaders had to give training. We had planned a super spiritual lesson with our zone leaders that we were excited to give. This was going to make everyone burst into weeping hysterics because it was so well planned! We were the second group to go, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, the first group stands up and says word. for. word. our super spiritually uplifting lesson. Pure panic ensued as we gestured stressed out nonsense to the leaders on the other side of the room. In the end we had to walk up to the front, dragging our feet, with sheepish giggles and dry mouths. (Is it just me or do mouths dry up right when you need them?) I am not aware of what we said or did, but luckily God put into our mouths something to say. There were no tears from the crowd but they didn’t throw rotten tomatoes either, so we are good. 

We are teaching a new family, the Oliveres Family. It is a single mom with her three children and younger sister. We had a beautiful lesson with them reading 1 Nephi 1, the first chapter in my most very favorite book. The most special feeling came over me reading that simple little chapter. It was a feeling of the greatness of this gospel, of its power to completely change us, to change our families, to change this world. The gospel opens up new horizons, gives hope to seemingly insignificant families and individuals and it makes us big and loving like our Father in Heaven. The Spirit once again affirmed to me that The Book of Mormon is the word of God. It is everything we need to be different and become more like Christ. I know that I am so far away from perfect, and my testimony isn’t the strongest or biggest, but I know that this book changes lives and it changes hearts. It is worth the time to read it, especially as a family. If we are not reading it in family, we are missing out on some of the biggest blessings that God is offering us. 

One thing I learned this week. If someone asks for service, give it to them. We had so many opportunities to serve other sisters this week. It helped me know my Savior a little more to be His hands and show His love. If we are asked, or if we feel that we must serve, we need to do it. It blesses us and it blessed Gods children. It doesn’t matter how much time we lose, or if it affect our personal goals and plans, we must do it. 

The other day we were walking down the street and we saw Brother Aguero. He looked at me and said, “I have a very special something for YOU.” We went to his house and he told me to take off my shoe so he could super glue it. I love that man. 

Yesterday we were searching for an inactive member. They lived in the street ´´La Verdad´´ or The Truth. We could not find that blessed little road and began to ask everyone in the world where it was. We were walking around asking. “where is la verdad? where?” They all looked at us funny and said, “la verdad doesnt exist. Only Libertad (liberty).” Everyone told us the same thing. And it honestly made me think, so many people believe that the truth does not exist, only liberty to live and do and think as we please. There is not just “one way,” only “many ways.”

I am here to say that even though La Verdad probably doesn’t exist as a street in my sector, it DOES exist in this life. Truth is truth. There IS a way to return to God and following whatever brings us momentary pleasure is not libertad at all. The liberty of this world leads us so far away from the truth and the freedom that comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

LOVE, HERMANA ALEX

I Met A Celebrity And He Tried To Kiss Me

Hermana Ostler’s Update – September 15, 2014

October is the month of the Mayor Elections here in Peru. As a citizen of the highly recognized city of Hood River, I can honestly say that I never knew Mayors were that important. Who IS the mayor in Hood River, anyways? I remember that about 6 years ago we got all progressive and elected a Mayoress and I think she dedicated a new baseball field or something.... 

But the point is, I had NO IDEA that Cusco would go completely APE for their mayor elections. Everyone is running around in the streets, bands are playing, people are fighting, candidates are buying votes with free beer and saltine crackers... it’s a nutcase. As a missionary I try to keep myself in a 3rd party perspective, neutral Switzerland status kind of thing. That is, until I met Mormontoy. 

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A MAN WHOSE NAME IS MORMONTOY? He is an architect and wants clean parks and paved roads and oh! Did I forget to mention that I met him? He is so much skinnier and younger and all around a dapper fellow. We met outside the church and he told me that he would actually LOVE to be a Mormon one day and gave me two calendars with his face on them and then tried to KISS ME. It was definitely love at first sight. 

But really. What type of missionary gets all googley eyed for a Mayor candidate of the Wanchaq district in Cusco? Hermana Ostler, that’s who. 

My vote is for Mormontoy. MORMONTOY MORMONTOY MORMONTOY!

This week were transfers again. I am pretty sure that President only puts in overly high energy people in this calling because WOW, if it wipes me out, someone who literally cannot stop moving, it would kill a normal person. 

HERMANA CONDIE is living in my apartment now! I love that girl. This meant that I also had to put a bunkbed together for her... I can’t even fill a bike tire with air sometimes! It took 5 sisters and about two hours, but we FINALLY managed to put that bugger together. Congrats to me. 

The miracle of the week was being able to see Hermana Sanchez and get the scoop on the people I love in Puerto. Norka and Pamela got baptized! It made me so happy to hear that sometimes we don’t get to see the reaping, but our sowing efforts really do help. Hermana Sanchez told me, “Thank you for teaching me how to be happy. Thank you for reminding me that it will always be hot in Puerto so we might as well accept it, love it, and move on.” I love Hermana Sanchez so much. 

When we were in the bus station of Cusco... I SAW HERMANA ALICIA! She was my mamita in Puerto. She ran towards me with giant tears in her eyes. Her father had just died and she was praying for a miracle. She fell into my arms and began to say the most beautiful things to me in Spanish. “It’s a miracle. You are my little gringa daughter, my princess my queen.”

My love for the people here is so big. I feel like they have every little part of my heart and for this reason I don’t miss anything from home. I don’t miss skiing or windsurfing or boys or garlic bread... but I love these people. And sometimes I feel like that love is something that they will forget, that maybe they will never remember how much I wanted to be with them forever. But that little miracle of seeing Mama Alicia in the terminal taught me something. Love never goes away. It never forgets. It never fades. How grateful I am for the love of these people. 

My new companion is the best. Hermana Valverde from Trujillo. She is so funny and crazy. We get along great. We love to work hard, walk fast, and get things done. She always puts her bangs in the classic 7th grade “bump.” She also is missing half of her front tooth from chewing on a glass bottle trying to open it two years ago. That kind of explains her personality right there. 

I love you all! 

Hermana Alex

This is my new companion, Hermana Valverde. I especially love her for her giant bump of hair on top of her head and for threatening to kill me our first 5 minutes together. (She is a major prankster and the best ever.)

My favorite companions together

 

When I got to be with hermana sanchez and we saw our mamita Alicia in the bus station of Cusco! Such a miracle!

Puppy Pee and Changes

Hermana Ostler’s Update – September 8, 2014

I am sad to announce that my frenemie, Hermana Tamariz, is leaving me to suffer (according to her) in the jungle of Quillabamba. But really! It’s heart breaking to see her go because that sassy, name-calling Peruvian has really become one of my best friends. I swear, we spent the whole time laughing together. She called me Llama Face and Butt Face and Man Face and so many other things and yet my love for her is only bigger because she just GETS me. She didn’t mind that I dance to church music like a crazy every night or that I can eat a whole box of cereal in 10 minutes or that sometimes I just really need to eat before I talk.... I love her! And her testimony and spirit is so big, she loves this life and it makes me happy to think that she may be coming to The States to insult me in English as well! 

My new companion will be Hermana Valverde. I do not know her at all. But I know that she is very small so I will continue to enjoy my slight giant status for a little longer. 

President Harbertson has been inviting us to do our 3 visits each week. The 3 visits consists of visiting 1. The Bishop 2. The Ward Mission Leader and 3. Other leader in the Ward. Our ward mission leader is such a cute little man. He is the only convert to the church and walks on his tiptoes and made us pizza once. But honestly, this man does not do much to help us with the missionary work. He is the key to having success and yet does nothing to help us advance. We decided to take up President Harbertson’s invitation and visit this brother. His nonmember wife opened the door, told us her husband was not home, and invited us to sit down and wait for him. I usually don’t like to wait because Peruvian time is Peruvian time (2 hours late), but we felt that we needed to visit this brother. The brother walked in about 10 minutes later (miracle!) and we began to share a message with him and his wife (another miracle!). We shared the scripture from Doctrine and Covenants 121 which talks about trials. We then sang the brother’s favorite hymn (How Firm a Foundation) and invited the brother to pray. As this wonderful man began to pray, he also began to sob. He thanked God for sending us, the missionaries, to his home because as he walked home he felt overwhelmed with sadness and despair. He told us that he felt so so so alone and didn’t want to share his burden with others. He thanked us for coming to his home and giving him the strength to keep praying, to keep trying. I know that God sends us to homes to help His children feel loved. We are never alone. 

This Sunday we made one of the biggest mistakes that missionaries can make. We accepted TWO invitations to eat lunch. WHY??? The first one was supposed to start at 12, but cooking beans in Cusco means waiting for 2 HOURS MORE. Beans are such rebellious little suckers in altitude. Justamente the second lunch started at 2 as well. Let me tell you, I have never eaten so fast in my life. The first lunch were BEANS and FRIED BANANAS and FRIED EGGS and AVOCADO. Talk about a punch to the digestive system. We then sprinted to the other house where they had prepared LAMB SOUP and CARAPULCRA and DESSERT. I think my companion and I rolled out of that house like little ticks full of thick blood. I will NEVER do that again. EVER. 

This week I had the wonderful opportunity to be marked as the territory of a puppy. I LOVE PUPPIES, mostly because they are so wiggly and have extra skin. I go completely looooopy for puppies. So I naturally stopped in the middle of the street to play with one, as my hysterical squeals and giggles increased, the puppy went beserk and lost complete control of his “bodily liquids” and peed all over me. I need to start controlling my excitement with puppies, but it’s so hard when they have EXTRA SKIN. It kills me. 

This morning were the transfers. Transfer day is always a day of secrecy and such in the offices because no one can know where they are going until 10. Well, chismosas que somos, we went to attack the weakest Elder in the offices, the mail elder (Elder Medina). We asked him oh so kindly to print off the transfer list, which he did with so much enthusiasm. I, knowing the brutal nature of the other office elders, ran to the printer to take out the paper. As I did so, I heard battle cries and saw that my companion was literally obliterated by one of the assistants (Elder Albert) as he tried to cover the information on the computer screen. The Nurse Elder (Elder Nicholls) sprints past me trying to intercept the paper in the printer, not knowing that I had stealthily obtained it. It basically resulted in the other elders screaming “YOU ARE WEAK YOU ARE WEAK” to the poor mail elder and us leaving victorious, knowing the transfers. So if you want to steal information, go to the mail Elder. 

I love you all. I love being a missionary because I learn so much and have the chance to focus in on others, to love them into following God’s plan. Love is the essence to all that we do. If we do not love, than we are not living as God would have us to. Another thing I have learned from the mission is that being a complete nun and super super single has made me learn so much about marriage. Woah there. But really, I feel like a wise little owl that can see a different perspective on relationships because I am not blinded by my own. Interesting musings, no? 

hermana alex

After finding out about the transfer.

TEMBLORRRR

Hermana Ostler’s Update – September 2, 2014

Did anyone feel the temblor last week? I was walking down the street with a sister when I felt such a good rhythm in my body that I couldn’t help but start swaying side to side. It wasn’t long until I realized that the sweet beat I was feel was actually the earth shaking. Hermana Liza grabs my arms and starts screaming, “TEMBLOR TEMBLOR TEMBLOR!” I look up at the buildings and see faces of pure panic squished up against the glass. Everyone runs out of the houses; in towels, with mouths full of rice, with babies and elderly folks... Meanwhile my companion was in the hospital with another sister in the 7th floor. Her experience resulted in her ABANDONING the recently operated sister as well as screaming nurses and oxygen tanks smacking against each other, ready to explode. Basically pure chaos. It lasted for literally one minute. I fear for the day when Cusco has a real earthquake. They CANNOT keep their cool. 

This Monday night we had plans to visit a less active family in the ward, but as we were walking I felt that we needed to visit a less active teenager, Lisbeth. She moved to Cusco a couple months back and has been trying to get into college here. I feel her pain because she has a hard time with tests, which makes getting in a little hard. As a result of this she has stopped coming to church. So we went to visit her and it was such a beautiful lesson. Her really active, recently married sister was in town and she reminded me so much of my sister Jessica. Beautiful, smart, and very very spiritual. She bore a powerful testimony to her sister of the beauty of living the gospel. She maybe doesn’t have a lot of resources now but she understands why she is here, and what is important in this life. She began to cry, begging us to never stop coming, to never give up on her sister because she wanted so badly to live with her after this life. She had been very concerned about her sister and was praying for a way to help her when we knocked on the door. I don’t understand how it happens, but God is guiding us to the people that need us most, all without us even understanding it. 

This week we visited Quillabamba again. I LOVE IT THERE. We go so much that the members and investigators are starting to recognize us. I love how traveling gives me the opportunity to know and love more of God’s children. I worked with Hermana Luque (MY BABY) for a day. Puerto memories up the waheezy. There is no control with her. We were in a lesson with a severely depressed woman and were in the middle of a hymn when by chance we messed up the tone and it resulted us in completely losing control in the middle of the song. I literally could not breathe with the laughter. Siempre una locura con ella. 

I also love how when I am in lessons I learn so much from the people I teach. Hermana Wahlen and I were in a lesson with 4 new investigators. There was a young man, Juan, who seemed very timid because of his lack of ´´religious knowledge.” We were teaching the Plan of Salvation and he had this face of earnest desire to learn. I asked him what he thought was the purpose of this life and he told me something that really made me think and that I had never thought of before. He told me, “I think the purpose of life is for us to get to know who we really are.” It blew me away and it is the truth. We lived with God as His children before this life, but did we actually really understand the magnitude of being children of God? I think it took for us to come down here to earth to see who we really are and who we can really become. Every day is another chance to look down deep into our hearts and start to know who we are at the core. 

Quillabama is in STRIKE. I am honestly a little scarred when it comes to strikes, after my experience in Puerto, so I was pretty nervous. But let me tell you, this strike was such a bust. A little bit of rock throwing and yelling followed by a giant party of Inca Cola and beer. A drunk man chased us down with a shovel, but nothing more and nothing less. 

Remember Marleny? We found her after I chased down a wayward bouncy ball. Well, meet OSCAR, her little brother. He is 22 years old and tall, dark, and handsome. Hahaha joke, but he is strangely tall for a Peruvian. We met him the other day when he was leaving the house. We were all sitting on the couch and he comes in for the typical farewell, a kiss. He first kisses his sister and then he goes in for my companion. As missionaries we usually do whatever it takes to NOT kiss men, and my companion tried...a little. But in the end she went in for the cheek kiss too. And now he is our investigator! He is actually really awesome and has a ton of questions. He was super sassy at the beginning but as we ended the lesson he told us that he felt something different with us. He told us it was like he was getting to know Jesus Christ through us. That is what talking with representatives of Jesus Christ should feel like!  And do not fear, he now understands Sister-Investigator boundaries. 

I loved this week. Traveling means a lot of drool on pillows in the vans and eating stale animal crackers and learning from other sisters. Being in my sector means seeing President Harbertson and goofing off with my companion. And being a missionary means feeling the spirit every day and learning how to see others the way God sees them. 

Besos, Hermana Alex

Birthday Eggs

Hermana Ostler’s Update – August 25, 2014

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY IT’S MY BIRTHDAY. 

Or in better words, it WAS my birthday. I got rotten eggs cracked all over my head, flour in the face, and other evil pranks. Then we had to visit sisters and drop people off at the terminal, and something revolutionary happened, something that has never happened in my whole life..... I FORGOT THAT IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. If you know me, you know that I am the type of person who proclaims to the whole world that it is MY special day and that all must bow down to me and treat me like The Queen of Genovia (Princess Diaries? Anyone?) 

But this birthday I made the goal to think of others. To stop being my typical self-centered me and lose myself in service that day. It was a really beautiful day and I felt a lot more love for other people, and a lot more gratitude to have another year of life to serve my fellow friends in this world. Love is what should drive us all, I am trying to have a lot more of it. Love to just be nice, to put vegetables in bags for an hour, and love to preach the gospel according to the needs and hurts of other people. Love is what makes us whole and happy. 

We also got to go to Valle Sagrado for the week. I LOVE THAT PLACE. We ate cuy and animal intestines (lie, I didn’t eat the intestines), went to my favorite orphanage in the world in Huayallabamba and ate Quinoa pizza. Most of all I love that place because it just feels different. The life is slower, people know their neighbor, there is no organization to anything, and it felt nice to feel a different pace. Also, Wishbone (The German Shepherd that ate my arm more than a year ago) died. VENGEANCE COMES. SOONER OR LATER IT BIT THAT DOG IN THE BUTT. 

Soledad is doing really well. She has a date to be baptized this 13 of September. I am so excited for her because she is starting to understand her importance as a daughter of God. She told me last night that lots of times she feels unworthy to pray to God. What a terrible lie that Satan has put in her head! We have never fallen too far, or said something too ugly, or been too disobedient, to be out of the reach of God’s love. Soledad is reading the Book of Mormon and says that she feels like it helps her know how to live her life. She loves church because she feels that the people there just want to help her be happy. I love Soledad- she will be so happy if she just keeps pressing forward.

I love you all! I love Cusco and I love Peru- I love being a literal representative of Jesus Christ because he is changing me. I love seeing that change in the people who I love so deeply here. I love cuy and I love birthdays. I also love Nutella. Thanks mom for sending it! It lasted about 2 days. But I don’t love sleeping in hospital chairs, can we just eliminate that from my mission experience? 

I love you!

Hermana Alex

Sweet Sweet Rest

Hermana Ostler’s Update – August 18, 2014

After a whole month of living without a single day off, we were able to go do something fun today! We went to Valle Sagrado with the Familia Farfan from the ward. They are my favorite. We had the opportunity to help Carmen start coming to church again and now she is seminary teacher and everything! But. The point is that we got to leave and get all relaxed and everything. AND I FORGOT HOW TO DO IT. I felt like I had to be doing something productive and felt stressed out. But luckily that only lasted for about 30 minutes, after that I was once again able to be the wild Hermana Alex who jumps and runs and laughs really loud. We went to Moray (a big hole in the ground that the Incans made) and Maras (the salt collecting place of the Incas.) Maras is my favorite. You literally can just walk around and eat free salt! And from what Hermano Erick told me, it is really special salt because there are crushed up seashells inside. I totally bought a ton of the salt and so we can eat it when I get back. 

A man tried to put my hand in his armpit when he felt my ice cold skin. I love Cusqueño men. 

I am learning a ton from living in Latin America. One of them is Sugar Coating everything. And when I say “sugar coating” I really mean that you take those words, pour chocolate syrup on top, cover it in caramel and then throw a pound of sprinkles on top. Basically you have to be really careful not in WHAT you say, but HOW you say it. Its honestly helping me a ton, because I have learned that in the eyes of God, cultures do not exist. There should only be one culture in His church and that is one of love, respect, and a willingness to change. So I am working on the sugarcoating. 

Concilio was this week. I LOVE CONCILIO. The Elders basically just like to blabber mouth for 6 hours while I wait anxiously for the food. This week I had the chance to make out with a slice of lasagna that had about 3 pounds of cheese on top. 

We are also teaching a part member family. His name is Alexander and his wife is not a member. We had the most beautiful family night with them this week. We taught the Plan of Salvation and I just relished in the joy that I felt to know that God DOES have a plan for us. Thanks to that plan we can know where we came from before we were born, we can know why we are here and what our purpose is in life, and we can know where we will go when we leave this mortal body. How my soul delights in that comforting knowledge! I know that this life isn’t just a random coincidence. I know that this life is not just to find momentary thrills or to satisfy every urge and desire that comes to mind. The purpose of life is to have JOY. Joy is so much more than adventures or food or family or religion. IT IS ALL OF THAT and more. It is a balance that comes to life when we put the things of God first. 

I love you all. Do not forget that my birthday is tomorrow. Sing me a little jingle from thousands of miles away and I promise I will feel it! 

hermana allleeexxxx

When the toilet overflowed...again. And my eyes look creepy because I was taking off my makeup when the poop crisis occurred. 

Reunion with the Coffey.

Real Life Scares Me

Hermana Ostler’s Update – August 11, 2014

Before anyone panics -- Yes we were in the hospital. But I am okay! There are just a ton of other sisters who are not. One sister had an operation which meant that I got to have my dramatic soap opera moment sleeping on a chair in the hospital. It also meant extreme boredom and playing with crutches and reading a ton and contacting nurses. Today is our “free day” but we will be spending it going to different doctors and sending hermanas off to their sectors. The work never stops but I love every moment! 

It’s interesting that God lets us fall to our faces and then He lifts us up, tells us to blow on it (Or is that something that only my mom says?) and lovingly pushes us forward again. We have struggled to teach and find and have any drop of “success.” But this week we have been blessed to teach and find and have hope for success!! We were able to meet two young families who basically contacted us, asking to be taught. We also were able to teach a single mother who just had an operation in the hospital, who was feeling lonely, and just needed someone to give her hope. We also have been able to find a young adult, named Soledad (Loneliness in English). She is looking for a different lifestyle, one that is closer to God. WE HAVE BIG HOPES FOR THIS ONE! Holding our breath and praying that this is her time to accept the gospel. 

We talked about Soledad in Ward Council and said that we just might possibly maybe might have a baptism soon. BOOM. There were cheers and screams of delight and I think I might have seen a couple hearty fist pumps? Let’s just say that we are all a little “baptism deprived.” 

Weirdest moment in the mission. Hearing Ke$ha and Lil Weezy in a taxi. Also hearing that “We Can Dance” song that took me RIGHT back to Summer days in Floras Lake with the Hood Rats. Let’s just say that there were memories up the waheezy. 

News Flash. Real life is just around the corner, and he is carrying some grocery bags full of responsibility. This week in church they talked about how a return missionary has got to do four things, and all at the same time, mind you. 

1. Study (And this probably means more than 2 days a week so I can go to Snowbird)

2. Work (That means less mtn bike time, right?)

3. Marriage. (Noooo. Let’s just pretend that that’s not a real thing.) 

4. Staying active in the church (GLADLY!) 

Hermana Liza was able to say the CREEPIEST thing I have ever heard in my life this week. I quote. “Your eyes are so beautiful that I want to take them out with a spoon and have them.” I now live in constant fear. 

Another tender mercy of the Lord. The little old man who shines my shoes. I love that man! He only speaks to me in Quechua and gets so excited to see me. Luckily Hermana Tamariz speaks Quechua and so she translates. Today he told me to always come back because we are so beautiful. That little old shoe shining man is a little liar but I love him for it! 

I love you all so much! The Gospel is true! Christ lives and loves us. This life rocks! 

Hermana Alexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx